Misanthropy Today

Hey I do requests apparently:

So theres this guy at burning man who dresses in a bear suit and goes around dicking almost every chick there.

Some key points:

1. The bear suit is not like the type that are made to look like a real bear. It’s the type that looks like a tall skinny cartoon bear.
2. It’s a two piece bear suit, meaning the legs are like pants and the chest-arms part is like a shirt but thicker and fuzzier. The head is removable. He pulls the pants-part down slightly when he lays pipe.
3. The interesting part of this is the psychology of it: twitty burning man girls forget that its a real guy in there so to them spreading their legs for the bear suit guy is like kissing an amusement park character in a photo.
4. This guy probably gets his bear suit dry cleaned.
5. Bear Suit Guy is a trooper: he’s up early and lays indiscriminate pipe around the clock.
6. Bear Suit Guy may actual be several guys who rotate the costume; I just realized my lone shooter theory is pretty dumb but somehow made the story more interesting to me, and probably to you too. I’m willing to kill a good story in the name of verity.
7. When not dipping his wick, Bear Suit Guy is often seen dancing (badly), drinking water and mooching food.
8. Bear suit guy is a non-smoker but likes to do drugs (obviously).
9. I hate Bear Suit Guy for some reason.

The Above Photo is a photo of a guy at burning man in a bear suit, but not our culprit. If anyone finds photos of possible suspects please post them in the comments section and i’ll try to ID him.

ADDENDUM: Bear suit guy probably poked this chick:

And This One Too:

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